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Parshat Vayishlach - 5781 The Second Fiddle



As the world contemplates who should receive the first batch of Covid-19 vaccines, an expression which has been bandied about for the past nine months now has new importance - “essential workers.”  Of course, the term refers to those whose responsibilities and professions are most critical during a pandemic, people who presumably perform tasks that are indispensable and central to our survival.  What is more complicated though, and the subject of much dispute, is who gets to define the term “essential”?  Does it extend to mental health professionals, social services, and what about religious services?  Isn't it true that to everyone, earning a living is “essential”?   

The label of “essential” has generated a secondary problem - many individuals will now have to bear the emotional toll and the financial and social implications of being deemed a “nonessential.” 

While the vaccine problem needs to be addressed decisively, I believe that Judaism wholeheartedly rejects the notion that there exists a category of people who are simply nonessential. 

In this week’s Torah reading, we are introduced to Devorah, the maidservant of Rivkah. Unfortunately, our acquaintance with her is fleeting, because we only meet her to learn of her death. According to חזקוני she not only helped raise Yaakov, but she was also the maidservant for Rivkah herself when she was a young girl:

 

 "זאת מינקתה. בנעוריה, והזכירה עכשיו שלא תתמה לכשתגיע לפרשת מיתתה לומר מאין באה".

 

So it should not be surprising that her passing engendered a feeling of grief in Yaakov, strong enough that he did not just bury her, but enshrined her passing in a toponym.

"וַתָּמָת דְּבֹרָה מֵינֶקֶת רִבְקָה וַתִּקָּבֵר מִתַּחַת לְבֵית-אֵל תַּחַת הָאַלּוֹן וַיִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ אַלּוֹן בָּכוּת" (פרק ל"ה, פסוק ח'(

Why does the Torah interrupt the narrative to tell us about the passing of a beloved maidservant? Particularly the passing of a person we had never encountered previously, who the commentaries and midrashim struggle to identify.

 

The first explanation is that Devorah is important because of what she represented to Yaakov. There are objects and symbols in our lives whose loss may evoke a strong emotional reaction out of proportion to their significance in our lives. That’s why I became emotional when I moved out of my first apartment, though it was hardly an appealing or charming place to live. Nonetheless, it had been my first home. It was there I burned my first cholent, in that apartment we welcomed our first Shabbos guests, and it was that place to which we brought home our firstborn child.  The apartment had become a symbol for many formative experiences and a repository of sweet and treasured memories.

There are people who serve similar roles, whose passing is tragic more for what they represented than for who they were. For example, Gedalia Ben Achikam was appointed governor of the Yehud province by Nebuchadnezzar after the destruction of the first Beit Hamikdash. No doubt he was honest, kind, God-fearing and meticulous in his observance of mitzvot. But the reason we fast in his memory on the day following Rosh Hashanah is not due to any of his manifold positive character traits. It is because his murder, at the hands of Yishmael Ben Netanya, represented the death knell of any hopes of post-Temple Jewish sovereignty. Gedalia was a symbol of something larger, in the same way that Devorah, the maidservant of Rivkah, was too. She represented the life Yaakov once led, reminding him of his innocent youth before he had to deal with Esav and Lavan, and of the mother who always fought for him, and whom he missed dearly.

 

But is Devorah’s only role that of an emotional placeholder? Was she merely a proxy for someone else who was more important?

 

Perhaps there is another layer to the identity of Devorah. Consider that the sum total of our knowledge of her is two pieces of information: she was Rivka’s maidservant, and that she died. Surely, there was those for whom she was independently important, who loved her for who she was and not just her affiliation to RIvka.  Nonetheless, the text only shares with us who she was in relation to another person. This might be the answer. Shows like “Upstairs Downstairs” and, more recently, “Downton Abbey”, deal with the contrast between the landed gentry and their servants and are premised on the perception that serving greatness is itself a form of greatness. Devorah saw herself, and her role in life, as serving and fostering greatness. Or consider that one of the most authoritative and respected biographies about the founders of the modern State of Israel- Yehuda Avner’s “The Prime Ministers” was written by someone who serviced, advised and wrote speeches for them. It is possible that Avner’s role in shaping Israel was greater than the sum total of Levi Eshkol, Menachem Begin, Golda Meir and Yitzchak Rabin.

Serving in this role may be viewed by some as playing “second fiddle,” but the Torah tells us that it most certainly is not. Devorah is no different than the teacher who identifies a talent in a student and encourages her to develop it.  She will always be the one whose presence and encouragement inspired greatness before anyone noticed.

 

Last week, someone passed away who should, by all rights, have been much better known and whose life exemplified this attribute. Cantor Daniel Gildar, who passed away a week ago Thursday, was the Chazzan for many years at Philadelphia’s Congregation Shaarei Shamayim. During his tenure there he taught hundreds of Bar Mitzvah students, many of whom became observant due to his influence), taught voice lessons to dozens of up and coming Cantorial talents and led davening every Shabbos in his mellifluous tenor. But in the broader Jewish world, people rarely heard him sing, even though he was an outstanding Chazzan in his own right. He was, instead, known best for several decades as the top accompanist in the world for other Chazzanim. If there was a Cantorial concert anywhere in the United States or Canada, Cantor Gildar was likely at the piano, there to help his Cantorial colleagues look and sound their best. The only acknowledgement he ever received, or ever allowed himself, was the quick and awkward bow he would take at the end of a cantorial piece- never alone, always alongside the Chazzan he accompanied. Perhaps this is why the Torah interrupts its narrative to tell us about the death of an unknown woman named Devorah.  She is worthy of our attention because she serviced greatness and she helped build the patriarchal family into what it had become. The Torah wants us to know that helping another person attain greatness is not a diminished role, and not to be viewed as playing second fiddle or “nonessential”. If only more teachers understood that their primary responsibility is not to be rock stars in their classrooms, but to enable their students to achieve stardom, our Jewish future would be more secure. Our society rewards charisma, natural charm and easy conversational skills- which have certain real risks associated with them. We should also reward the silent individuals who, time and time again, build other people up while never seeking a name for themselves. This is an important lesson to teach our children as well- they will never lose when they build others up, and they should always be thinking about ways to do so. We have lost so many leaders since COVID began, that it is a cliche to lament them, and almost as much of a cliche to wring our hands about who will replace them. In addition to crying over their loss, we need to get to work on building the next generation- of Torah scholars, of spokespersons for Judaism, of communal activists and of competent and frum Jews, who can and do share words of Torah at their Shabbos tables , read Jewish texts in Hebrew, lead services properly in accordance with the laws of nussach and can run a Jewish home.

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