Shemini
Atzeret-Simchat Torah - 5780
Snap Out of It!
On October 14,
1663, Commander of the Royal Navy, member of British Parliament and noted
diarist Samuel Pepys visited Congregation Shaar HaShamayim, the Spanish and
Portuguese Synagogue of London. It is safe to say he was wholly unprepared for
the sight he witnessed:
But, Lord! to see the disorder,
laughing, sporting, and no attention, but confusion in all their service, more
like brutes than people knowing the true God, would make a man forswear ever
seeing them more and indeed I never did see so much, or could have imagined
there had been any religion in the whole world so absurdly performed as this.
As you might have
guessed, the day he came to visit was Simchat Torah, and one can only imagine
the mischief and hijinks he encountered. Perhaps it involved the tying of taleisim together, spraying the Chazzan
with water during mashiv haruach and
hiding the shoes of the Kohanim whilst they were duchaning. What he was observing was an attempt by a Jewish
community to experience the zman
simchateinu, the time of our joy, as the Torah mandates us to be joyful in
this season- yet they didn’t really know how to do so. Instead of experiencing
true joy, they substituted it with pranks and frivolity- because much like the
Jews of today, they struggled not just with joy in this season, but with joy
and happiness in general. I dare say most of us do not find joy through dancing
around the room in a poorly formed circle; some of us will become thoroughly
annoyed when another person inevitably attempts to drag us into that circle. Still,
there are others who tragically cannot experience the requisite joy of this
period because of their own life circumstances. I’ve been told that kol hane’arim can be excruciating for
those who are longing to start or expand their family. Furthermore, there is a nagging feeling in
many shuls that the “real” party is happening elsewhere- whether it is in some
idealized version of their past when they recall joyous holidays and legendary
characters, or in some idealized version of a different shul, where they know
how to do Simchas Torah right. Many teens travel to New York for Simchas Torah;
they successfully convince their parents that they want to experience dancing
with the Torah with several hundred of their peers, which may be correct, but I
can tell you from experience that for the vast majority, it is an entirely different kind of peer
pressure that is their motivation-all because we have allowed them to believe
that real joy and happiness always lies elsewhere. As a result of all of this, gravitate
toward stimulants to help themselves experience some kind of joy on this day.
For small children, it involves mind boggling amounts of sugar; for adults, it
is carbohydrates and alcohol.
At the root of
all this is the perception of the Torah’s expectation- והיית
אך
שמח-
verily, you shall be happy. How in the world can God command me to feel what I
don’t feel? Our emotional state cannot be activated with the flick of a switch!
My friends, we have a “happiness problem.” And if we are to solve it, we need
to understand what true simcha really
is.
I’d like to share
with you several approaches to simcha:
The Talmud provides a second
definition worthy of our consideration (Berachos 31a):
תנו
רבנן
אין
עומדין
להתפלל
לא
מתוך
עצבות
ולא
מתוך
עצלות
ולא
מתוך
שחוק
ולא
מתוך
שיחה
ולא
מתוך
קלות
ראש
ולא
מתוך
דברים
בטלים
אלא
מתוך
שמחה
של
מצוה
On
the topic of proper preparation for prayer, the Sages taught: One may neither stand to pray from an atmosphere
of sorrow nor from an atmosphere of laziness, nor from an atmosphere of laughter, nor from an atmosphere of conversation, nor from an atmosphere of
frivolity, nor from an atmosphere of
purposeless matters. Rather, one
should approach prayer from an
atmosphere imbued with the joy of a
mitzva.
The category of simcha shel mitzvah is not limited to the performance of
commandments but extends to the joyous study of Torah. This may seem like pie
in the sky for us, a level we will never reach and perhaps have no desire to
attain. But you don’t have to look far to find people who revel in mitzvot, and
people who are energized by Torah study.
When I studied at Yeshivat HaKotel
there was a beautiful custom on the first night of Rosh Chodesh Adar
immediately following ma’ariv, the bochrim from the yeshiva,
along with a number of rebeim would exit the beit midrash into
the hallway and would proceed to dance, forming a giant circle, singing mishenichnas
adar. When I arrived at YU I felt
that some of that spontaneous ruach was missing, so I attempted to
replicate that custom outside the beit midrash.
Immediately after maariv, I grabbed several friends and we began
to sing. To my amazement, there were
close to 30 participants who willingly “played” along. The following year we had doubled our crowd,
as sixty strong sang for a good 5 – 10 minutes.
Several years had gone by and by then, the entire Beit Midrash had
emptied out. Except for one person –
Rabbi Yitzchok Cohen, who continued to learn and shukel with great fervor as if
there was nothing else going on outside!
Above him was affixed a special sign, one which he places around the
study hall during the month of Adar – it reads "משכנס
אדר מרבים בשמחה...ואין שמחה אלא בתורה"
– there is no joy other that the holy study of Torah!
There are plenty of righteous adults
who feel this way, but even more pronounced are our children. Did you give your
son or daughter a chance to shake the Lulav this Yom Tov? Did you see the look
of excitement and reverence on their precious faces when they gingerly took the
daled minim into their tiny hands? Do your children love to share their
parsha questions at the Shabbos table? Reflect on this next year instead of
panicking about whether they will break the pittum, and whether it’s worth the
money to buy one set or two or even any at all, and try to capture some of that
youthful enthusiasm, that simcha shel
mitzvah, for ourselves. There is a tragic moment in parenting when children,
once eager to build a sukkah, shake a lulav, who stood with their mouths agape
during the sounding of the shofar,
begin to roll their eyes when you call them in to bentsch, light shabbos candles or to come underneath the tallis for birkas kohanim. When pure
simcha has been lost, we need to start searching for artificial ways to induce
joy.
Which brings us to the second kind of
simcha, one which is uniquely within our reach during this Yom Tov. It is an
idea that brings together two unlikely sources- the Rambam, the ultimate
rationalist, and Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, who preaches an emotionally driven
expression of divine service.
According to the Rambam, simcha on Yom Tov appears to be rooted
in culinary indulgence; the Talmud says that joy is expressed through the
consumption of בשר ויין,
meat and wine, but the Rambam cautions us not to turn our celebration into a
“simcha of the stomach.” Rather, it must be directed outward- sharing the
bounty with others, particularly those in need. Need is not even necessarily
defined as financial[1]-
it may be circumstantial as well. The Maharam Shick[2], a
student of the Chatam Sofer, wrote in one of his responsa that it is a halachic
obligation for those who have a Sukkah to invite into it those who do not. He goes as far as to suggest that a beit din may compel one to open his yom
tov meal up to others in need. All of
this speaks to this second category of joy - the one that can only be
experienced when shared with others.
There is an expression for this type
of joy - שמחת
הזולת,
where you make other people happy, and there is perhaps no better illustration
of its transformative nature than a stunning passage in the Talmud, in tractate
Taanis. It describes an encounter with Elijah the Prophet, who was asked by
Rabbi Beroka if he could identify anyone in a certain marketplace who are bnei olam ha’ba, guaranteed a spot in
the world to come. Sitting atop this
list were two brothers:
אדהכי
והכי
אתו
הנך
תרי
אתי
א"ל
הנך
נמי
בני
עלמא
דאתי
נינהו
אזל
לגבייהו
אמר
להו
מאי
עובדייכו
אמרו
ליה
אינשי
בדוחי
אנן
מבדחינן
עציבי
אי
נמי
כי
חזינן
בי
תרי
דאית
להו
תיגרא
בהדייהו
טרחינן
ועבדינן
להו
שלמא:
In the meantime, two brothers came to the marketplace. Elijah said to Rabbi Beroka: These two also have a share in the World-to-Come. Rabbi Beroka went over to the men and said to them: What is your occupation? They
said to him: We are jesters, and we cheer up the depressed. Alternatively, when
we see two people who have a quarrel
between them, we strive to make peace. It is said that for this behavior
one enjoys the profits of his actions in this world, and yet his reward is not
diminished in the World-to-Come.
Being a clown
represents the kind of frivolity that perhaps we might strive to avoid; but
when directed outward- toward those who need cheering up, at those who need a
few moments of escape from a dreary reality, at those celebrating a joyous
occasion like a wedding or who simply had a long day- that constitutes an act
of holiness.
As you may be
aware, Simchas Torah is the busiest day on the social calendar of the renowned
Upper West Side singles scene. People come from all over the country to spend
time with friends and possibly meet their bashert,
and those who live on the Upper West Side host epic meals and parties. One such
single was Moshe Golkin, a lovely yet somewhat shy person whose dating life was
just not going all that well. Moshe was (and remains) a dedicated member of The
Jewish Center, a regular at minyan and always ready to pitch in and help the shul
in any way that was needed. He was also by far the most visible member of The
Jewish Center, as he stood at 6”8. To honor his service, the grateful Jewish
Center community bestowed upon him the honor of Chattan Maftir. At night,
before Maariv, the custom at The Jewish Center is that the Chattanim are
paraded into the sanctuary with great fanfare, announced and accompanied by the
Rabbis, the Chazzan and the officers. The Rabbi at the time, Rabbi Dr. Ari
Berman (now president of Yeshiva University), launched into an impromptu speech
extolling Moshe’s virtues. “Head and shoulders above the crowd in every way”
was more or less how he described Moshe, whose confidence was buoyed by these
lofty words of public praise. So confident was he that at a party later that
evening he approached a woman named Susan Blech, and they struck up a
conversation- which led to a date, a wedding and now to two children. How many
Moshe Golkins in this world are there, who just need some confidence, some
external simcha, inviting them into
the inner circle and changing their lives?
Based upon this
idea, Rebbe Nachman develops a third model of simcha:
One of the most
famous statements of Rebbe Nachman is the aphorism, from the 23rd chapter of
Likkutei Moharan:
מצוה
גדולה
להיות
בשמחה
תמיד
It is a
significant commandment to be joyous at all times.
It was Rebbe Nachman who developed this idea- that joy is a commandment, and
sadness is a sin. But it was the same Rebbe Nachman, whose yahrtzeit was just a
few days ago, who struggled with deep depression, crippling self-doubt,
interpersonal conflict and profound crises of faith throughout his short life.
Likkutei Moharan is the Torah of the broken, and the guide to a spiritual life
in a complicated internal world. When Rebbe Nachman talks about the need for
perpetual happiness, he is not describing a delusional, hopped-up joy. It is
instead a joy that is accessible to real people with real challenges. At the
beginning of this drasha, we described how people recoil from being dragged
into a circle by some overenthusiastic NCSY advisor. Rebbe Nachman seizes upon that moment to make
a profound observation. What if we were
both the advisor and the unengaged teen or adult standing on the sidelines?
If you would
invite a poor or sukkah-less person to your Sukkah, if you would purchase
clothing for an orphan, why not show the same concern for the happiness of the
most important person in our world: ourselves?
ליקוטי מוהר"ן תניינא תורה כג
בענין
השמחה,
ע"פ
משל
שלפעמים
כשבני
אדם
שמחים
ומרקדים,
אזי
חוטפים
איש
אחד
מבחוץ,
שהוא
בעצבות
ומרה
שחורה,
ומכניסים
אותו
בעל
כרחו
לתוך
מחול
המרקדים,
ומכריחים
אותו
בעל
כרחו,
שיהיה
שמח
עמהם
ג"כ.
כן
יש
בענין
השמחה,
כי
כשאדם
שמח,
אזי
המרה
שחורה
ויסורים
נסתלקים
מן
הצד.
At
times when individuals are rejoicing and dancing, they grab someone from the
periphery of the circle, who is depressed and with a sad countenance, and they
force that person into the dancing circle against their will, so that she too
will be be happy with them. So it is with regard to happiness, because when a
person is happy, the bitter countenance and tribulations are moved to the side.
How does this
remedy anything? Someone who is
clinically depressed can’t suddenly “snap out of it,” as clueless or insensitive
friends may urge. And someone who is sad for good reason, due to life
circumstances, can’t just become happy. Afterall, what they are feeling is
beyond just regular sadness. Thus, Rebbe Nachman introduces a revolutionary
idea. Long before Pixar’s magnificent and deeply moving “Inside Out,” which
helped us understand through personification that emotions are part of who we
are, and cannot and should not be excised, Rebbe Nachman chose to portray
sadness as if it were a lonely individual standing outside a circle at a simcha.
וזה בחי' (ישעיה לה) ששון ושמחה ישיגו ונסו יגון ואנחה, שהיגון ואנחה בורחים ונסים מן השמחה, כי בעת השמחה דרך היגון ואנחה לעמוד מן הצד כנ"ל.
אבל צריך לרדוף אחריהם דייקא, ולהשיגם ולהגיעם, להכניס אותם דווקא לתוך השמחה כנ"ל. וזהו
ששון
ושמחה
ישיגו
וכו',
שהששון
ושמחה
ישיגו
ויתפסו
את
היגון
ואנחה,
שהם
נסים
ובורחים
מן
השמחה,
להכניס
אותם
בע"כ
לתוך
השמחה
כנ"ל.
כי
יש
יגון
ואנחה
שהם
הס"א,
שאינם רוצים להיות מרכבה אל הקדושה, וע"כ הם בורחים מן השמחה, ע"כ צריך להכריח אותם לתוך הקדושה, דהיינו השמחה, בעל כרחם
כנ"ל:
When we are
experiencing periods of sadness, there is a person inside of us who doesn’t
feel like dancing and won’t allow us the ability to feel any kind of joy. Think
of sadness as the unwanted party guest, the “Debbie Downer.” Every time we try
to enjoy ourselves, a sad thought or memory appears out of the corner of our
eyes, standing on the side, reminding us that whatever misfortune we are
experiencing, whatever source of stress dominates our thinking, it is simply
not our lot to be among the happy.
When this
happens, we try to pretend that memory isn’t there, but this is ineffective,
since we are both the person on the outside of the circle and the one trying to
forget. Don’t be ashamed of the part of you that is feeling sad, or the part
that experiences moments of elation.
If you would drag
a friend who is down for a night out to remind them that they are capable of
joy, then why don't we invite ourselves as well - why don't we show
ourselves a good time?
We are about to
recite Yizkor. When we think of the loved ones we are commemorating, what is it
that they wanted for us? Perhaps it was that we enter certain professions, live
within a five-mile radius, give them nachas
as they define it, and for us to have the opportunities they never had. But if
there is one common denominator among the wishes of every parent and relative,
it is that their loved ones should be happy. So, our challenge, as we near the
end of the Chaggim, is to ask ourselves how we will experience this kind of
happiness- which is not only a biblical commandment specific to a holiday, but
the greatest wish of those who loved us. Perhaps this year we will give
happiness a chance through one of the proven methods. Through the joy of a
mitzvah, or Torah study; through making others happy and by allowing the part
of us that feels undeserving of happiness to be granted entry into our circle.
Think about someone who wants our happiness; it could be a relative or a
special person in our lives, and it could be us. They are standing in a circle,
beckoning for us to join them. Let us be good enough to ourselves and
graciously accept the invitation.
וכשאוכל
ושותה, חייב להאכיל לגר וליתום ולאלמנה עם שאר עניים, ולא ימשוך ביותר ביין,
ובקלות ראש,
[2] Orach Chaim 322, thanks to Rabbi Gil Student
for posting this Responsum recently to Facebook
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